Worst pick-up artist ever! A tale of warning!

***WARNING! THE FOLLOWING POST CONTAINS VULGAR AND OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE, THE LIKES OF WHICH I WOULD NOT NORMALLY USE HERE BUT IT COMES FROM DIRECT QUOTES. IF SUCH LANGUAGE DOES NOT AGREE WITH YOUR PALATE THEN WE WELCOME YOU TO RETURN AND READ OUR NEXT POST! THANK YOU!***

“Your stunning”

Yes, the grammar is all wrong, but it is a nice thing to say, and what woman does not like a compliment?

“You really know how to take a sexy outfit and make it stunningly gorgeously breathtakingly captivatingly sexy just by simply wearing it”

You pause, you think “Hmmmm……that is a whole lot of -lys in one statement and I feel like I have heard this before”. Maybe it does not click right away, or maybe this is your first time being subjected to this sickeningly sweet load of crap. You kindly thank him but point out that you are there with someone. Someone who you are dancing with and anyone with even half an eye can see that. You expect him to either not reply or to apologize for interrupting.

OR

You Immediately recognize the line as one that has been used many, many a time and you call him out on that fact. “Really? I have heard this twice before. Move along and get new lines. People know your shtick” You hope he will shut up and go away, but you are not at all surprised when you receive this response:

“Just cause you heard it twice before doesn’t mean it’s the same person people need to stop assuming this is my one only avi so fuck you you hairy cunt”

COUCHE2

ARTIST’S RENDING OF THE OFFENDING PARTY

*SIGH* Some people never learn. So you do what you know needs to be done. You call the turd out in local and ask how many other women have been getting the same lines thrown at them. The answer? SEVERAL! Not only that, but every woman who has rejected him is immediately verbally assaulted by him. And can I just mention that the sentence makes little sense. No one is assuming that is your only avi, it is actually the opposite. I am assuming that you are an alt of the same moron who has been pulling this crap for years at clubs.

This failure of a Casanova pulls the same stunt on the club’s owner and is subsequently banned, A bit later the club is griefed and just as the griefing ends the aforementioned turd send the club owner this little gem: ” Hey there you fucking cum guzzling sewer slut” followed up with “hey there you fucking cunt rag” when he does not get a response. Obviously this dude oozes class.

INSANITY

What is the moral of the story? If you receive an IM the likes of the ones above (Believe me, this ass clown does not change it up. The first time I was hit with his crap was nearly 2 years ago!) ignore, block, or put on your boxing gloves if you like a good fight.

Hopefully we will not have to deal with him any longer at After Dark, as the two avatars that he operates under (that we know of) have both been banned. I am respectfully (not that he deserves any such respect) withholding his names since I have quoted him verbatim. It is not like he makes it very hard to figure out. C’mon! Copying and pasting the same lines for at least TWO FREAKING YEARS?!?!?! Ugh.

WARM FUZZY

Now for something on the total slip side of this silliness! I and the staff at After Dark would like to take this opportunity to give a shout out to Darkstar Dagger for his kind words after the griefing fiasco. “Ty for having us hun and putting on such great shows as this.  Griefers will be griefers but Jenny and I had a lovely time.  ^^” (Quote used with the expressed approval of Mr. Dagger.) It kind of gives you the warm fuzzies to know that people are having such a good time at the place you love so well.

YOU ROCK

One last shout out to Ren Enberg (freestar.tammas), for stepping in, finding the griefer and banning them! It takes a village! (Cheesy, I know but so dang true!) Thank you Ren and Mr. Dagger for making what could have been a crap night a lot more pleasant!

Ty’s Choice Awards

 

 

Disclaimer:
This is not mean to belittle the Avi Choice Awards. Like everything else that I write, this is written in the spirit of silliness and fun! RS90s-cup-trophy*DRUMROLL*

Booming announcer voice: “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first annual Ty’s Choice Awards! And now…your hostess for the evening, Tyche Szondi!”

Thank you! Thank you! You can all sit now, there is no need for all of that. There will be plenty of time to show your undying love and appreciation for me at the after party!

It is my pleasure to welcome you to the first annual Ty’s Choice Awards! This is an award show like no other! There are no nominees. There are no losers. Rather than having our regular musicians vying against one another for some silly statuette, I have taken it upon myself to give each of them an award in a category completely tailored just for them! Another way the Ty’s Choice Awards are better than other awards shows is the lack of long winded acceptance speeches. (Unless any of the artists would like to send me an acceptance speech, in which case I will gladly feature it on the website!)

One final thing before we hand out the awards. Unfortunately, Meegan Danitz cannot be with us this evening. As some of you may have witnessed before the show while on the red carpet, Meegan was told by security that if she had one more nip slip she would be banned from the show and not allowed back on the premises until the show was over. Upon hearing this, Meegan untied her wrap dress and walked the rest of the red carpet with her dress hanging open and all of her lady bits showing. At the end of the red carpet she was taken into custody. We wish her the best and look forward to seeing her at the after party!

Now on with the show! Screw the silly jokes between awards, and the music numbers. Let’s give these things out! Now, When you read the list you need to read them in an announcer’s voice. “And the TCA for ________ goes to_____!” Extra points if you read them aloud and get strange looks from people around you! And-the-Winner-Is-CP-Confetti
Best Growl: Joel Eilde (Red Heaven)
Most Angelic Giggle: Lyrica Acoustic
Most Demonic Laugh: FunkyFreddy Republic
Best Wood: Obeloinkment Wrigglesworth
Most Likely to Sing About Wood: SaraMarie Philly (Dick Family Reunion)
Most Likely to Work Local Chat Into a Song: Porter Paquot
Most Likely to be Distracted By Meegan in a Short Skirt: Reggie Sunset
Most Fierce Ass: duh……
Best Tip Jar: Maximillion Kleene’s Tipsy the Cow
Most Likely to Melt Tyche with His Voice: TwinGhost Ronas
Most Likely to Melt Tyche with Her Voice: Rara Destiny
Craziest Pants: Grif Bamaisin
Best Use of A Goat and/or Sheep in Sampling: DeepSky Timeless
Most Likely to Introduce You to an Instrument You Have Never Heard Before: Voodoo Shilton
Best Beard: PT Beardmore
Most Likely to Have Meegan Saying “Ph**k” in Local: Phemie Alcott
Most Multi-lingual Songstress: Roxy Paradox
Least Graceful Dismount (aka Most Likely to Play on With a Broken Leg): Frets Nirvana
Best SL to RL Love Story:  Avvy Barzane
Most Likely to Loop the F-Bomb: Jordan Reyne
Best Ever to Play Tell Ty: Liz Aday
Best Banana Pancakes: Beamer Lowtide
Kinkiest: Ren Enberg and Quai Franklin
Most Missed: Loreen Legion

Last but never least we have the Lifetime Achievement Award goes to Stephanniyah Sinatra. She has earned this award by being the longest running regular artist to play at After Dark!

Congratulations to all of our winners! We hope that you wear the honor of this award like a badge!

Now on to the after party, where I just got word that Meegan is currently dancing on a table and I am getting conflicting reports as to whether she is clothed or not!

~Tyche

Please enjoy some moments from the red carpet!

Porter Red Carpet

Porter Paquot

Voo Red Carpet

Voodoo Shilton

joel red carpet

                                           Joel Eidle

Rek and LG

LadyGlory and Raknard

Ty Red Carpet

                                                          Tyche Szondi